Emotional Closeness

One concept within the friendship chapter that got me thinking was how men and women create emotional closeness.  It is something that I believe most people understand, but never really stop to think about. Women create emotional closeness through dialogue, and men create closeness through doing things together.  What I loved about these ideas was how truthful they were. When I heard this I instantly started to recall how my Father and I get emotionally closer, and then equally how my Mother and I get emotionally closer, to in large part test the validity of the ideas.  The answers matched up perfectly.  My Dad and I love to go out, see a movie, go to Barnes & Noble and read..ect. We love to get out and do things together, that is how we spend most of our time. And when we go out, we do talk, but not a great deal, we talk about what we may see or find interesting in something we read, mostly beneficial talk.  Now I do go out with my mom, but the first thing I do when I see her, is sit down and talk about anything that is going on.  When my mother, and I go out and do something we talk the entire trip.  Lunch is not simply an activity to eat, but its another personally opportunity to dialogue.  My mother and I will talk about nearly everything under the sun, but we spend a great deal of time simply talking about life.  With my Dad, it seems like we have a time that we set aside to talk about life, and other things.  Its not that we do not talk, but its in large part about what the matter at hand is, our dialogue is mostly purposeful, and is used to get a job done, rather then enjoyment. What is interesting is I enjoy both aspects of these relationships, and I feel it shows just how much a child needs both a Father, and Mother to fulfill the necessary aspects of his/her growth.

I found a YouTube video that I felt visually explained how men and women differ in emotional closeness. The video shows a man and a wife, they are out on the River fishing.  The video is a short commercial, but it shows both sides of the sexes emotional closeness needs.  On one hand the man is being fulfilled because he is out doing something with his wife, and on the other hand the wife is being fulfilled because she is chatting while she is fishing with her husband. Check out the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eq5VQAD5-s

Friends Support Each Other

Supporting a friend is in large part the biggest role a friend plays in others lives.  Trust may bind, and hold a friendship together, but supporting a friend is the work involved in keeping a friendship strong.  The stronger a friend, the more support that friend has or will give.  As the book the describes, real friends are friends that are there for each other. Support is the essence of a friendship. This can be seen in the form of listening to a friends problems, good or bad. Reassuring and letting a friend know that you are always going to be there for them, through thick and thin.  I believe that the level of support within a friendship dictates the level, and depth of any relationship.  I have many friends but I do not feel I can go to just any friend with my problems, and know that no matter what the case is, I am not alone.  I found this to be extremely true in my life with my Dad. While my Dad is first and foremost my parent, but he is also my friend.  He not only supports me when I am asking for help, but also proactively seeks ways to help me.  I do not believe that someone has to be on a Father, Son, bases to proactively desire to support one another.  I feel that a true friend will have a desire to want to help his/her friend, and find ways to accomplish that.  I also have friends who will actively, in a loving way, ask how things are going in my life.  I have friends who not only ask out of curiosity, but out a heart to want to be of service to a friend. The very center of friendship is love, and love is an action not a feeling. Support is a way that we serve our friends, and in turn show love. Support within a friendship is the act of being selfless.

Trust within Friendship

Trust within a friendship is extremely important. I personally feel it can be largely thee most important aspect. A great deal of conflict can occur through the lack of trust. The book defines trust as being a key means to a close friendship, and that there is confidence with each member of that friendship to be dependable, and emotionally reliable. This largely means that members of a friendship, can assume that a close friend will be there for them, and not let them down in a rough situation. A close friend will have a measure of care, and have a deepened desire to care about a friends well-being. The concept of trust does not only exist, but has a level at which it develops, and is largely dependent on each individuals background. Some people are able to open up and trust easier then others, this can be due to an individuals level of care they received from childhood. If a person grew up in an environment of care, and security, they will more then likely trust others more openly, and will take more risks. While another may have not been as openly cared for, and will in large part depend only on themselves, depending on the severity of the situation.
I felt this rang true in my life. I grew up in a very supportive, and caring home environment. I never had to worry in large part with the issue of trust. My parents instilled the value of trust in me at an early age, a simple lie would merit a spanking, and it did not take to many of those before I was as honest as Abe. I feel that because this idea has been ingrained in my life, that I take it for granted in others. I do not usually question the validity of most people, and I just assume they are being honest with me. I have learned through personal relationships that honesty is more then just being truthful, but its about being completely open with close friends. I have known people to hide there true selves, and in turn create an image of dishonest concerning there personality. Its funny how these hidden truths about friends always seem to come out after the relationship is ruined. Trust is something that I have learned takes many years to fully understand, and grasp. Not only in yourself, but helping you learn about others.

I thought this picture expressed all I was trying to say. Two opposite individuals trusting one another.  The cat although a fraction of the size of the dog, has complete trust, and has no desire to flee, and fight.  While the dog gentile embraces the cat.  Its a fun, and touching picture, that speaks a great deal of the mental and physical trust we as humans also need from one another.