One concept within the friendship chapter that got me thinking was how men and women create emotional closeness. It is something that I believe most people understand, but never really stop to think about. Women create emotional closeness through dialogue, and men create closeness through doing things together. What I loved about these ideas was how truthful they were. When I heard this I instantly started to recall how my Father and I get emotionally closer, and then equally how my Mother and I get emotionally closer, to in large part test the validity of the ideas. The answers matched up perfectly. My Dad and I love to go out, see a movie, go to Barnes & Noble and read..ect. We love to get out and do things together, that is how we spend most of our time. And when we go out, we do talk, but not a great deal, we talk about what we may see or find interesting in something we read, mostly beneficial talk. Now I do go out with my mom, but the first thing I do when I see her, is sit down and talk about anything that is going on. When my mother, and I go out and do something we talk the entire trip. Lunch is not simply an activity to eat, but its another personally opportunity to dialogue. My mother and I will talk about nearly everything under the sun, but we spend a great deal of time simply talking about life. With my Dad, it seems like we have a time that we set aside to talk about life, and other things. Its not that we do not talk, but its in large part about what the matter at hand is, our dialogue is mostly purposeful, and is used to get a job done, rather then enjoyment. What is interesting is I enjoy both aspects of these relationships, and I feel it shows just how much a child needs both a Father, and Mother to fulfill the necessary aspects of his/her growth.
I found a YouTube video that I felt visually explained how men and women differ in emotional closeness. The video shows a man and a wife, they are out on the River fishing. The video is a short commercial, but it shows both sides of the sexes emotional closeness needs. On one hand the man is being fulfilled because he is out doing something with his wife, and on the other hand the wife is being fulfilled because she is chatting while she is fishing with her husband. Check out the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eq5VQAD5-s
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friends Support Each Other
Supporting a friend is in large part the biggest role a friend plays in others lives. Trust may bind, and hold a friendship together, but supporting a friend is the work involved in keeping a friendship strong. The stronger a friend, the more support that friend has or will give. As the book the describes, real friends are friends that are there for each other. Support is the essence of a friendship. This can be seen in the form of listening to a friends problems, good or bad. Reassuring and letting a friend know that you are always going to be there for them, through thick and thin. I believe that the level of support within a friendship dictates the level, and depth of any relationship. I have many friends but I do not feel I can go to just any friend with my problems, and know that no matter what the case is, I am not alone. I found this to be extremely true in my life with my Dad. While my Dad is first and foremost my parent, but he is also my friend. He not only supports me when I am asking for help, but also proactively seeks ways to help me. I do not believe that someone has to be on a Father, Son, bases to proactively desire to support one another. I feel that a true friend will have a desire to want to help his/her friend, and find ways to accomplish that. I also have friends who will actively, in a loving way, ask how things are going in my life. I have friends who not only ask out of curiosity, but out a heart to want to be of service to a friend. The very center of friendship is love, and love is an action not a feeling. Support is a way that we serve our friends, and in turn show love. Support within a friendship is the act of being selfless.
Trust within Friendship
Trust within a friendship is extremely important. I personally feel it can be largely thee most important aspect. A great deal of conflict can occur through the lack of trust. The book defines trust as being a key means to a close friendship, and that there is confidence with each member of that friendship to be dependable, and emotionally reliable. This largely means that members of a friendship, can assume that a close friend will be there for them, and not let them down in a rough situation. A close friend will have a measure of care, and have a deepened desire to care about a friends well-being. The concept of trust does not only exist, but has a level at which it develops, and is largely dependent on each individuals background. Some people are able to open up and trust easier then others, this can be due to an individuals level of care they received from childhood. If a person grew up in an environment of care, and security, they will more then likely trust others more openly, and will take more risks. While another may have not been as openly cared for, and will in large part depend only on themselves, depending on the severity of the situation.
I felt this rang true in my life. I grew up in a very supportive, and caring home environment. I never had to worry in large part with the issue of trust. My parents instilled the value of trust in me at an early age, a simple lie would merit a spanking, and it did not take to many of those before I was as honest as Abe. I feel that because this idea has been ingrained in my life, that I take it for granted in others. I do not usually question the validity of most people, and I just assume they are being honest with me. I have learned through personal relationships that honesty is more then just being truthful, but its about being completely open with close friends. I have known people to hide there true selves, and in turn create an image of dishonest concerning there personality. Its funny how these hidden truths about friends always seem to come out after the relationship is ruined. Trust is something that I have learned takes many years to fully understand, and grasp. Not only in yourself, but helping you learn about others.
I thought this picture expressed all I was trying to say. Two opposite individuals trusting one another. The cat although a fraction of the size of the dog, has complete trust, and has no desire to flee, and fight. While the dog gentile embraces the cat. Its a fun, and touching picture, that speaks a great deal of the mental and physical trust we as humans also need from one another.
I felt this rang true in my life. I grew up in a very supportive, and caring home environment. I never had to worry in large part with the issue of trust. My parents instilled the value of trust in me at an early age, a simple lie would merit a spanking, and it did not take to many of those before I was as honest as Abe. I feel that because this idea has been ingrained in my life, that I take it for granted in others. I do not usually question the validity of most people, and I just assume they are being honest with me. I have learned through personal relationships that honesty is more then just being truthful, but its about being completely open with close friends. I have known people to hide there true selves, and in turn create an image of dishonest concerning there personality. Its funny how these hidden truths about friends always seem to come out after the relationship is ruined. Trust is something that I have learned takes many years to fully understand, and grasp. Not only in yourself, but helping you learn about others.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Truth of Interpersonal Communicati
Why does Interpersonal Communication exist? Why are we humans so bound to communicating with each other? They seem like simply question, but they can, at times, have complex answers. In the Textbook “Interpersonal Communications: Everyday Encounters” the author discusses a method of thought that try's to answer the question “why is Interpersonal Communication necessary”. The concept is called “Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs” this list of needs, displayed in the textbook as a pyramid, is what Maslow feels is what is completely necessary in our human development, and how interpersonal communication plays a role in our growth, and understanding. Within this concept, I found three portions that I felt I completely related with and understood as completely true and necessary within my life, and I am sure many others. The areas of Maslow's Hierarchy of Need that rung true with me are, the top three, Belonging Needs, Self-Esteem Needs, and Self-Actualization Need.
The textbook describes Belonging need as something that we humans “need” to enjoy life. It is through interpersonal communication that we as humans find fulfillment. We need to feel wanted, comfortable, and accepted by social groups. This could include anything from spending time with others, or simply just listening and understanding each others feeling and desires. We humans desire to be heard, and we desire to hear others. Through the need of belonging we learn about others, and how we can be apart of there lives, just as they want to be apart of ours. I feel I have taken this idea for granted. I never noticed how necessary it is for myself to be accepted by family and friends. I have worked my whole life to be accepted, and acknowledged, that I never really understood that I not only was working at being accepted, but also needed to be accepted. As I look back in my life, hign sight is always 20/20, I see how much effort I have put into friends, and family. It always has just been natural for me to work at being accepted with social groups, that I never knew how truly important it was to my personal well-being, and enjoyment of life. This acceptance, or need to belong, has shaped the way I live within society. Because if no one acknowledged me, I would basically be nothing. Anything we say, or do must be accepted by others or it has no meaning or value.
YouTube Video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=949soXmVIM8
Which leads to the next level of interpersonal communication necessity, self-esteem needs. This concept explained by the book, explains basically how other react to each of us. As I stated above, anything we say or do has no meaning unless it is accepted and evaluated by others. We create a self-esteem understanding based on how others react to our attempt at being accepted. I act out my interpersonal communication and others give me a response. I am either smart or dumb, quick or slow, mean or nice, depending on how others communicate with me. We need a high self-esteem to succeed in nearly every aspect of life. Whether it be with our romantic life, or getting a job, we suffer or succeed based on the strength of our self-esteem. Knowing that nothing I do has validity unless others acknowledge or evaluate it is a daunting thought. Nearly my entire understanding of myself is based on what communication processes I have been through with other individuals. I have always been someone who desires to be heard, someone who wants to be acknowledged. I have always wanted to have an impact on others, and its through this give and take self-esteem process that I will be successful or a failure. Knowing that such a great deal rest on how others perceive me through interpersonal communication is quite an interesting and deep thought in my own personal life.
Lastly, Maslow feels that a concept know as self-actualization is the top and most abstract need in a humans life. This is the idea that we as humans grow in self acknowledgment. We strive to be the best that we can be, or to achieve self-actualization. The large majority of what we humans do through interpersonal communication is to achieve our best, to become the fullest human being we can become. It is through interpersonal communication that we come to the understanding of our greatest potential. We learn new skills, and test ourselves through the relationship we have with other human beings. I personally give a great deal of importance, in my own life, to the growth of knowledge. It is extremely difficult for me to learn more then I currently known now with the help of interpersonal communication. I need to communicate with others to further my personal self-actualization. Through communicating with others we learn new experiences, we learn what they have learned from others, and the entire human race grows off of each other. In my continuing journey to achieve my personal fullest self, I use all the tools of interpersonal communication to learn, and grow.
The textbook describes Belonging need as something that we humans “need” to enjoy life. It is through interpersonal communication that we as humans find fulfillment. We need to feel wanted, comfortable, and accepted by social groups. This could include anything from spending time with others, or simply just listening and understanding each others feeling and desires. We humans desire to be heard, and we desire to hear others. Through the need of belonging we learn about others, and how we can be apart of there lives, just as they want to be apart of ours. I feel I have taken this idea for granted. I never noticed how necessary it is for myself to be accepted by family and friends. I have worked my whole life to be accepted, and acknowledged, that I never really understood that I not only was working at being accepted, but also needed to be accepted. As I look back in my life, hign sight is always 20/20, I see how much effort I have put into friends, and family. It always has just been natural for me to work at being accepted with social groups, that I never knew how truly important it was to my personal well-being, and enjoyment of life. This acceptance, or need to belong, has shaped the way I live within society. Because if no one acknowledged me, I would basically be nothing. Anything we say, or do must be accepted by others or it has no meaning or value.
YouTube Video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=949soXmVIM8
Which leads to the next level of interpersonal communication necessity, self-esteem needs. This concept explained by the book, explains basically how other react to each of us. As I stated above, anything we say or do has no meaning unless it is accepted and evaluated by others. We create a self-esteem understanding based on how others react to our attempt at being accepted. I act out my interpersonal communication and others give me a response. I am either smart or dumb, quick or slow, mean or nice, depending on how others communicate with me. We need a high self-esteem to succeed in nearly every aspect of life. Whether it be with our romantic life, or getting a job, we suffer or succeed based on the strength of our self-esteem. Knowing that nothing I do has validity unless others acknowledge or evaluate it is a daunting thought. Nearly my entire understanding of myself is based on what communication processes I have been through with other individuals. I have always been someone who desires to be heard, someone who wants to be acknowledged. I have always wanted to have an impact on others, and its through this give and take self-esteem process that I will be successful or a failure. Knowing that such a great deal rest on how others perceive me through interpersonal communication is quite an interesting and deep thought in my own personal life.
Lastly, Maslow feels that a concept know as self-actualization is the top and most abstract need in a humans life. This is the idea that we as humans grow in self acknowledgment. We strive to be the best that we can be, or to achieve self-actualization. The large majority of what we humans do through interpersonal communication is to achieve our best, to become the fullest human being we can become. It is through interpersonal communication that we come to the understanding of our greatest potential. We learn new skills, and test ourselves through the relationship we have with other human beings. I personally give a great deal of importance, in my own life, to the growth of knowledge. It is extremely difficult for me to learn more then I currently known now with the help of interpersonal communication. I need to communicate with others to further my personal self-actualization. Through communicating with others we learn new experiences, we learn what they have learned from others, and the entire human race grows off of each other. In my continuing journey to achieve my personal fullest self, I use all the tools of interpersonal communication to learn, and grow.
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